Parents & Teachers
Parents
Grace Smith House’s Prevention and Education Team does a variety of workshops for parents in the areas of how to talk to your kids about cyber bullying, bullying and teen dating violence, what to look for and how to help when your child discloses any of these situations, whether they are victim, and by stander, or a perpetrator.
- 89% of teens 13-18 say they are dating.
- 1 out of 3 young people between the ages of 14-24 will be in an unhealthy relationship.
- What looks like ‘puppy love’ is much more intense to your teen.
- Don’t let your discomfort stop you from asking the questions.
- It is critical that we talk to our sons about healthy relationships.
TO TALK TO YOUR CHILD ABOUT RELATIONSHIP ABUSE
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ASK
How Do You Know Your Teen Wants to Talk to You?
Location
Away from other people and distractions, somewhere quiet and relaxed, i.e. a coffee shop, a drive, a walk in the park
Expectations
Support your child and confirm you are a good resource and non-judgmental. Do not blame your child for the abuse
Give your child realistic strategies for confronting the problem effectively.
Share your experiences
Talk about when you were their age, how you may have had a problems and overcome it.
Do not talk with them about your current problems - they need a parent, not a friend.
- He/she hangs around you but might not say anything.
- He/she says they don’t feel well but nothing seems to be physically wrong.
- She/he says they want to talk but that it’s ‘no big deal’.
Location
Away from other people and distractions, somewhere quiet and relaxed, i.e. a coffee shop, a drive, a walk in the park
Expectations
Support your child and confirm you are a good resource and non-judgmental. Do not blame your child for the abuse
Give your child realistic strategies for confronting the problem effectively.
Share your experiences
Talk about when you were their age, how you may have had a problems and overcome it.
Do not talk with them about your current problems - they need a parent, not a friend.
ANY TIME YOUR TEEN WANTS TO TALK TO YOU
DROP EVERYTHING AND PAY ATTENTION
Here are some questions to ask your teenager to help get the conversation started, and keep it on the right track.*A Parent’s Guide to Teen Dating Violence-www.loveisnotabuse.org
How Are Things Going?
Make your first question a general one.
What Are Your Friends Dating Relationships Like?
Look for stereotypes and your teens’ beliefs about relationships.
Have You Seen Any Kind of Abusive Behavior Between Two People Who Are Going Out?
Here’s your chance to define ‘abusive relationships’. Also, look for warning signs from the perspective of a possible abuser.
Why Do You Think One Person Would Abuse Another While Dating?
See what your teen’s ideas are about this and then what they think is acceptable.
Why Might a Person Stay in an Abusive Relationship?
There are many reasons: Status and self-esteem; the teen may not want the violence, but does not want the relationship to end; the teen may feel no one understands the abuser but the teen; the teen may fear that if you find out you won’t let the couple date any more; the teen may not have a healthy relationship to compare it to; the teen may worry you will be disappointed in him/her.
What Makes a Relationship Healthy?
Mutual respect and a commitment to not hurt one another emotionally, physically, or sexually are hallmarks of a healthy relationship.
What Can You Do if You Have a Friend Who is Threatened or a Friend Who Is Abused?
See how your teen responds. Talking with abused teens who are your child’s friends and to abusers is different, and there are techniques for both.
What Kind of Messages About Dating Abuse and Relationships Do We See in the Media?
Be aware of the music and media your child surrounds herself/himself with. This is where your values come in.
If Your Teen Is Dating Someone, Ask ‘How Is Your Relationship Going?’
Be prepared for anything.
Where Can You Go to Find Help if You or Your Friend Needs It?
A relative, friend of the family, clergy, guidance counselor, coach, police. Direct them to our hotline, (845) 471-3033, if they ever ned to speak confidentially with someone about what they think might be an abusive relationship.
How Are Things Going?
Make your first question a general one.
What Are Your Friends Dating Relationships Like?
Look for stereotypes and your teens’ beliefs about relationships.
Have You Seen Any Kind of Abusive Behavior Between Two People Who Are Going Out?
Here’s your chance to define ‘abusive relationships’. Also, look for warning signs from the perspective of a possible abuser.
Why Do You Think One Person Would Abuse Another While Dating?
See what your teen’s ideas are about this and then what they think is acceptable.
Why Might a Person Stay in an Abusive Relationship?
There are many reasons: Status and self-esteem; the teen may not want the violence, but does not want the relationship to end; the teen may feel no one understands the abuser but the teen; the teen may fear that if you find out you won’t let the couple date any more; the teen may not have a healthy relationship to compare it to; the teen may worry you will be disappointed in him/her.
What Makes a Relationship Healthy?
Mutual respect and a commitment to not hurt one another emotionally, physically, or sexually are hallmarks of a healthy relationship.
What Can You Do if You Have a Friend Who is Threatened or a Friend Who Is Abused?
See how your teen responds. Talking with abused teens who are your child’s friends and to abusers is different, and there are techniques for both.
What Kind of Messages About Dating Abuse and Relationships Do We See in the Media?
Be aware of the music and media your child surrounds herself/himself with. This is where your values come in.
If Your Teen Is Dating Someone, Ask ‘How Is Your Relationship Going?’
Be prepared for anything.
Where Can You Go to Find Help if You or Your Friend Needs It?
A relative, friend of the family, clergy, guidance counselor, coach, police. Direct them to our hotline, (845) 471-3033, if they ever ned to speak confidentially with someone about what they think might be an abusive relationship.
Keep Communicating With Your Child
Keep Asking these Questions
Teachers
Grace Smith House’s Prevention and Education Team have long standing and continuous relationships with the middle and high schools in Dutchess County, as offer a variety of trainings for students, teachers and administrators regarding bullying, cyber bullying and teen dating violence.
Teen Dating Violence & Bullying Workshops:
Grace Smith House’s interactive and engaging workshops are free. Our trained educators use the Mentors in Violence Prevention Model (MVP), an interactive discussion which uses real life scenarios that teach bystander intervention skills from a social justice perspective. These MVP Workshops are held during assemblies, phys-ed/ health class, orientation, clubs, faculty meetings, in-service days, etc. All workshops are available to middle school and high school students, parents, direct service providers, school staff and administrators, and can be facilitated in 30-60 minutes.
Take a Stand: Bullying
Part 1: 5th, 6th, 7th grade
Provides the foundation of bullying and its three forms, as well as the impact that bullying has on the person, family and friends. Educates the audience to be helpful and supportive when faced with witnessing a bullying situation.
Post, Don’t Roast: Cyber bullying/ Internet Safety
Part 2: 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th grade
Educates about the different types of technology used to cyber bullying and the impact cyber bullying has on the person, family and friends. Also provides information on how to be safe when using technology, as well as ways to report cyber bullying.
Love Shouldn’t Hurt: Teen Dating Violence
Part 1: 8th, 9th- 12th grade
Provides a foundation of the cycle of violence and how to identify the red flags of an unhealthy relationship. Participants will gain tools and language that will enable them to support a person in an unhealthy relationship, as well as gain an understanding of the impact that dating violence has on the person, friends, and family.
In Their Shoes: Teens and Dating Violence
Part 2: 9th- 12th grade
An experiential training designed to help participants talk about what dating is like for teens – from their perspective. Through the use of fictional scenarios, participants will have the opportunity to make decisions about character relationships and discover how challenging it is to navigate an unhealthy relationship, with and without support.
KNOW More: Safety Planning
Part 2: 9th- 12th grade
Participants will gain knowledge and skills of how to increase safety while in an unhealthy relationship, as well as during and after a break up. This is a follow up workshop to Teen Dating Violence.
Break the Cycle: Children and DV
Part 3: 9th- 12th grade
Participants will gain an understanding of how children are affected by domestic violence and how those affects can contribute to the cycle of relationship violence. This is a valuable workshop for parenting and psychology classes.
All students will first receive foundational information on the given topic. For example, bullying and teen dating violence. Once that is completed students will then received the next step of education to build their knowledge. Each workshop is customized to the particular grades.
To Book a Workshop, contact:
Director of Prevention Education, Dr. Maria Melilli
mariam@gracemithhouse.org
Call 845.452.7155 and ask for Prevention Education
Grace Smith House’s Prevention and Education Team have long standing and continuous relationships with the middle and high schools in Dutchess County, as offer a variety of trainings for students, teachers and administrators regarding bullying, cyber bullying and teen dating violence.
Teen Dating Violence & Bullying Workshops:
Grace Smith House’s interactive and engaging workshops are free. Our trained educators use the Mentors in Violence Prevention Model (MVP), an interactive discussion which uses real life scenarios that teach bystander intervention skills from a social justice perspective. These MVP Workshops are held during assemblies, phys-ed/ health class, orientation, clubs, faculty meetings, in-service days, etc. All workshops are available to middle school and high school students, parents, direct service providers, school staff and administrators, and can be facilitated in 30-60 minutes.
Take a Stand: Bullying
Part 1: 5th, 6th, 7th grade
Provides the foundation of bullying and its three forms, as well as the impact that bullying has on the person, family and friends. Educates the audience to be helpful and supportive when faced with witnessing a bullying situation.
Post, Don’t Roast: Cyber bullying/ Internet Safety
Part 2: 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th grade
Educates about the different types of technology used to cyber bullying and the impact cyber bullying has on the person, family and friends. Also provides information on how to be safe when using technology, as well as ways to report cyber bullying.
Love Shouldn’t Hurt: Teen Dating Violence
Part 1: 8th, 9th- 12th grade
Provides a foundation of the cycle of violence and how to identify the red flags of an unhealthy relationship. Participants will gain tools and language that will enable them to support a person in an unhealthy relationship, as well as gain an understanding of the impact that dating violence has on the person, friends, and family.
In Their Shoes: Teens and Dating Violence
Part 2: 9th- 12th grade
An experiential training designed to help participants talk about what dating is like for teens – from their perspective. Through the use of fictional scenarios, participants will have the opportunity to make decisions about character relationships and discover how challenging it is to navigate an unhealthy relationship, with and without support.
KNOW More: Safety Planning
Part 2: 9th- 12th grade
Participants will gain knowledge and skills of how to increase safety while in an unhealthy relationship, as well as during and after a break up. This is a follow up workshop to Teen Dating Violence.
Break the Cycle: Children and DV
Part 3: 9th- 12th grade
Participants will gain an understanding of how children are affected by domestic violence and how those affects can contribute to the cycle of relationship violence. This is a valuable workshop for parenting and psychology classes.
All students will first receive foundational information on the given topic. For example, bullying and teen dating violence. Once that is completed students will then received the next step of education to build their knowledge. Each workshop is customized to the particular grades.
To Book a Workshop, contact:
Director of Prevention Education, Dr. Maria Melilli
mariam@gracemithhouse.org
Call 845.452.7155 and ask for Prevention Education
